NEWS, HISTORY AND ANALYSIS THAT MATTER TO THE SERIOUS WRESTLING FAN



ANALYSIS: JIM CORNETTE ON THE FOUR GROUPS OF WRESTLING'S TARGET AUDIENCE

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Recently, Jim Cornette took part in Ring of Honor's Secrets of the Ring-- a series where those within the wrestling industry touch on the concepts and philosophies that they personally value in making professional wrestling successful. During this interview, Jim Cornette broke the American public into four groups when it came to promoting and marketing professional wrestling. The following is a transcript of Jim Cornette's explanation.

The First Group: "There are this many people who come to see anything in a wrestling ring. They're going to come to see anybody in boots and tights in a wrestling ring no matter what. They're hardcore. They are on the internet. They want to come because either they can't get enough wrestling or they want to bitch and complain about something and say how they could do it better."

The Second Group: "This crowd likes good wrestling. Not old wrestling, not new wrestling, just good wrestling. There's two kinds of wrestling: good wrestling and bad wrestling. I don't care who presents it or what it is, that's this crowd, that's the second crowd. They want to see good wrestling and if you present a good product for an extended period of time to where it gets the point across, they will come to see you.

The Third Group: This crowd comes to see the star, comes to the see the big event. The Rock, The Steve Austin. Either somebody really gets hot like Hulk Hogan two decades ago or The Rock and Austin in the late 90's or whatever. Or Wrestlemania is hot. That's the crowd where no matter what you do they aren't going to come all the time, and they're not going to watch every week, but they know it is around. That's the third group, the people who will come for the big shows or the big stars.

Everybody else in the world is in the fourth group. They don't give two flying fucks. You could put a flying elephant in the ring, they don't give a shit because it's wrestling and they don't want to see it. They want to see ballet, fly fishing and I don't give a fuck what else. You ain't going to get them.

So you've always got these people [group one] right. And I'm not saying you should shit on them because they are your ticket purchasing patrons, but you have always got these people. If you've got a good product, you've got group number two so concentrate on that. There's really no way that you control group number three because how do you just say 'Ok, this guy is going to be the next Rock. Or the next Steve Austin or Hulk Hogan'. You can't do that, they've got to come along. That's when you get the really big house, record gates, whatever.

And the fourth group, who gives a flying fuck what you people want to see, if you people are going to god damn ballet, fuck you! Because we're doing wrestling. And the people who try to say 'Well, we're going to give people who don't like wrestling something to watch'. They've got something to watch, it's on all the other fucking stations while your program is on you dumb son of a bitch! So why do you do shit that's not related in any way to wrestling on a wrestling program. They don't stop Saturday Night Live to have Curt Gowdy give the god damn Olympic freestyle skating report. The people watching Saturday Night Live don't give two flying fucks about the god damn Olympic freestyle skating. So WHY DO IT is all I am saying?

You've got group one. If you're good you get group two. When you're lucky you get group three, and the rest of them it don't make a fuck because they're not coming anyway."


HISTORY: THE STATEMENT THAT SENT THE COWBOY AWAY

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With Jim Herd's disasterous reign as the chair of the National Wrestling Alliance booking committee a memory better off forgotten, a lawyer for Ted Turner's Superstation TBS named Jim Frey was inexplicably promoted to fill the void left behind. He wouldn't hold the position long, as soon therafter a colorful legend --and promotional genius -- by the name of "Cowboy" Bill Watts was signed to a deal as the new Vice President of Wrestling Operations for World Championship Wrestling. Jim Herd quietly resigned and was moved elsewhere within the Turner Organization.

If Turner brass would have read comments made by Watts in an interview several months earlier, they could have saved themselves the trouble of hiring him in the first place. Ironically, it was a future employee of World Championship Wrestling named Mark Madden who would fax a transcript of Watts's controversial interview to Turner darling and professional baseball homerun king Hank Aaron a short time after "The Cowboy" first put his imprint on World Championship Wrestling.

"Horrible" and "despicable" were the two words emphasized most by Aaron in discussing Watts' statement. Amid controvery, Watts and Turner Sports would soon part ways.

The question of whether Bill Watts's was in fact a bigot or simply a man who spoke too openly about his honest opinions on social issues has always intrigued wrestling fans. Statements have ranged from "Bill Watts was the type of guy, if he's gonna call you a n-----, he's gonna call you a n----- to your face" (Charles "2 Cold Scorpio" Scaggs) to "Bill Watts saw only one color, green". The truth may never be known, and it probably isn't particularly relevant anyway.


Perhaps in no other instance was Bill Watts' straddling this thin line more dangerously than in an interview with
The Pro-Wrestling Torch Newsletter in the summer of 1991. The following are the statements that would eventually lead to the departure of Bill Watts from World Championship Wrestling.

AN EXCERPT FROM: Torch Talk Interview With Bill Watts: 1991


"If you want a business and you put money in, why shouldn't you be able to discriminate? It's your business.
If free enterprise is going to make or break it, you should be able to discriminate? It should be that, by God, if you're going to open your doors in America, you can discriminate. Why the fuck not?

That's why I went into business, so that I could discriminate. I mean, really. I mean I want to be able to serve who I want to. It's my business. It's my investment ... I can't tell a fag to get the fuck out. I should have the right to not associate with a fag if I don't want to. I mean, why should I have to hire a fuckin' fag, if I don't like fags? Fags discriminate against us, don't they? Sure they do ...

Do blacks discriminate against whites?
Who's killed more blacks than anyone? The fuckin' blacks. But they want to blame that bullshit Roots that came on the air. That Roots was so bullshit. All you have to do if you want slaves is to hand beads to the chiefs and they gave you slaves. What is the best thing that has ever happened to the black race? That they were brought to this country. No matter how they got here. You know why? Because they intermarried and got educated. They're the ones running the black race.

You go down to the black countries and they're all broke. Idi Amin killed more blacks than we ever killed. You see what I mean. That's how stupid we are. But we get all caught up in this bullshit rhetoric, And so, it's ridiculous what's happening to our country.


Lester Maddox (former Georgia governor and defiant restaurant operator) was right. If I don't want to sell chicken to blacks I shouldn't have to. It's my restaurant. Hell, at least I respect him for his stand".

Our latest poll at The Pro-Wrestling Chronicle asks if you think Bill Watts should have been pressured out of Turner Sports due to his comments. The poll can be located on the right menu bar.


HISTORY: VINCE MCMAHON AND THE STEROID TRIAL

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PART ONE (Beta Version)


Allentown, Pennsylvania. The Early 1980's.

It looked like any other aging arena in the northeast from the outside. A crude makeshift locker room inside played host to an even cruder makeshift office. A folding table and a few files were all. It wasn't much, but to the customers it was everything. One by one they approached the office, exchanging a few pleasantries before walking away with a paper bag. Inside was any prescription drug a human being could possibly desire --all in large enough quantity to last several weeks. It came at a discount, but transactions of hundreds of dollars were routine. The affable doctor behind the office desk was always adorned in a bowtie --prepared in the event that a stray television camera happened to pass by. He finally felt like a peer to the unique brand of athlete that he grew up idolizing.

The second generation promoter could have done something to stop it, but what the doctor was doing was nothing that wasn't going on elsewhere. Other members of the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission could have stepped in, but they turned a blind eye. To them it was merely boys being boys. No one knew that years later, death and the strong arm of the law would lay a figurative bodyslam on the makeshift office that reverberated with enough impact to bring those involved most intimately to the brink of collapse.

* * * * *

Hollywood, California. July, 1988

The use of the studio that the two men occupied made up only a small part of the twenty million dollar budget that the upcoming promotional vehicle and full length feature film No Holds Barred commanded. It was an adventure for both. Vincent Kennedy McMahon Jr. had taken a hands on approach to the project, which fell under the Shane Productions branch of the Titan Sports Inc. umbrella. Though one of Hollywood's brightest --and most expensive --scriptwriters was tapped for the project, McMahon modified the story at will, molding it into an art-imitating-art progression in which a diabolical rival promoter with more than subtle similarities to Ted Turner attempted to raid his opposition of their biggest wrestling star. That star was Terry Bollea, better known to most as Hulk Hogan. Bollea wasn't simply along for the ride however. Fifteen months prior, Bollea's Wrestlemania III main event with the beloved "Andre the Giant" earned him the biggest one night payoff in the history of American wrestling. When the t's were crossed and the i's dotted, Bollea's involvement in No Holds Barred would guarantee him a bigger check than Vince McMahon Jr. had ever written to one of his wrestlers.

The time that the two men spent during the filming of No Holds Barred was the most that they would ever spend together. The stayed at the same hotel when they were off set, and shared a trailer when on the set. As business associates, the two men owed each other everything. Bollea's millions could have never been made without McMahon's cunning as a promoter, and McMahon's empire of hundreds of millions of dollars probably couldn't have reached such levels without Bollea as the face of the World Wrestling Federation. As friends, they grew as close as they ever would on those long days of filming in the summer of 1988.

And on this afternoon, Vincent Kennedy McMahon and Terry Bollea shared more than just road stories. On the set of No Holds Barred, Vince McMahon first approached Terry Bollea about steroids. McMahon listened intently as his biggest star explained the ins and outs of the different substances. Bollea briefed McMahon on the best way to cycle the drugs, and most likely showed his employer how to inject himself. That afternoon, "Hulk Hogan" gave McMahon part of his supply --decadorabilin and a bottle of anabar pills to be precise. Bollea didn't mind sharing his stash. "It is similar to how smokers share cigarettes" Hogan would say six years later while under oath.

* * * * *

Summer, 1989. Greenwich, Connecticut.

As social elite in wealthy Greenwich, Connecticut, the McMahon family were always in demand. Vince McMahon --a self-admitted workaholic -- rarely had the time to mingle. His third wife Linda still managed to find a few hours to let her hair down on occasion however. From humble beginnings, she relished the opportunity to establish herself as a fixture so high on the socialite ladder.

Linda McMahon's desire to be seen set off a chain of events that would save her husband and his World Wrestling Federation on this fateful evening. At what was likely another in a never ending series of stuffy dinner parties in Greenwich, Connecticut, Linda McMahon was having a conversation when the most unusual thing was accidentally mentioned off the cuff. On the outside, Linda McMahon likely played cool and disinterested. On the inside, she knew that it would change everything.

* * * * *

October 1989. Pennsylvania

The doctor's legitimate medical office was hardly a folding table in the dingy recesses of an aging arena. He didn't make a habit of writing unlimited prescriptions in this venue, but this afternoon he was making an exception.

"I'm giving you better prices than the wrestlers" the doctor said after agreeing to throw in a case of syringes for free.

He had just arranged a near $700 order that included steroids, eighteen vials of various injectable drugs and enough painkillers to ground an elephant. The recipient was William Dunn, and George Zahorian had no idea that he was wearing a wire.

* * * * *

February 1990. Stamford, Connecticut

One of Vince McMahon's chief aids walked discretely away from World Wrestling Federation offices. Looking over his shoulder to ensure that his privacy would not be compromised, he slowly fed his change into the payphone and began to dial. A payphone was the only way. If the phone call was recorded, the topple of the Titan Sports Inc. would be the least of problems. After a few rings a forty-year-old male answered. There is little doubt that this would be the worst call of Dr. George Zahorian's professional career.

In the midst of a series of mundane conversations at a dinner party, Linda McMahon had heard something that she was never meant to hear. A casual mention had been made in passing of a doctor for the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission by the name of George Zahorian according to later accounts by Dave Meltzer. The Federal Bureau of Investigation was hot to him, and it wouldn't be long until the FBI would have a strong enough case to move on the doctor.

The message from Vince McMahon's representative was loud and clear. Any records that linked Titan Sports or Vince McMahon to Zahorian's illegal drug trafficking had to removed from his offices immediately and destroyed.

The doctor had grown up idolizing wrestlers and jumped at the opportunity to work for the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission when the opportunity presented itself in the late 1970's. He knew that he would be assigned as Commission doctor at World Wide Wrestling Federation events in Allentown and Hamburg. Doctors like Zahorian were common in wrestling --often referred to behind their back as "jock-sniffers" due to their willingness to break the law in order to feel like one of the boys around the athletes. Sean Waltman, Scott Hall and the charismatic World Wrestling Federation champion "Shawn Michaels" would sometimes drive hours out the way to attend barbeques at the residence of a groupie-like doctor who would return the favor by opening a floodgate of prescription pills to the professional wrestlers. It was just part of the business. Zahorian began distributing controlled substances to professional wrestlers in 1981, and was ecstatic to play his part in the mechanism --until he received that phone call at least.

Almost immediately after the call, a high ranking World Wrestling Federation official by the name of Pat Patterson was having an urgent conversation of his own. It was with the prolific World Wrestling Federation Champion Terry Bollea. Patterson quietly briefed Bollea on the circumstances surrounding Zahorian, and told "Hulk Hogan" in no uncertain terms to cut of all contact with the doctor immediately and to never speak to or do business with him again. Bollea didn't listen. Several days later, he placed a phone call to George Zahorian, presumably about placing another order. Hogan wouldn't get a chance to do so. The doctor who had spent a decade desperately seeking acceptance from his idols would refuse to take the phone call from the biggest star in professional wrestling history.

* * * * *

March 1990. Pennsylvania

William Dunn once again walked into the door of George Zahorian's medical offices. Dunn was greeted by a very different man. The once jovial doctor was now nervous and reserved according to an account of the afternoon in Sex, Lies and Headlocks. If William Dunn momentarily felt regrets about setting up the doctor, they were likely drowned by thoughts of the cold prison cell he himself would have found himself occupying if not for his cooperation with the feds.

As Dunn walked out of Zahorian's offices with $25,000 worth of drugs, painkillers and steroids, he passed the two federal agents who were walking in with a warrant for the arrest of Dr. George Zahorian. According to Sex, Lies and Headlocks, Zahorian trembled when he saw the agents. Submissively, Zahorian asked permission to call his lawyer.

Moments later, the two agents heard a faint sound in the distance. It was the sound of paper tearing. When they cornered Zahorian, they found him on his knees, nervously clutching a fist full of shredded paper. When the agents pried his hands open, they found the remains of Federal Express receipts. They bared the names of Alfred Hayes and Roddy Piper --two stars of Vince McMahon's World Wrestling Federation. In his final act before leaving his office in handcuffs, Zahorian was attempting to protect the professional wrestlers who had played a part in landing him in such a dire position.

The effort was in vein. The FBI had been following the paper trail for months, and the names of Vince McMahon and Terry Bollea were all over it. As the hammer was about to come down on the doctor who sacrificed his professional career and freedom to get closer to the wrestlers his substances would end up putting in early graves, the early stages of a case against the wrestling promoter who didn't do a thing to stop it was slowly being built, and it contained enough to potentially put Vincent McMahon Jr. behind bars for a decade.


SITE NEWS: A MESSAGE FROM THE EDITOR

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On behalf of The Pro-Wrestling Chronicle, we would like to offer another apology for the lack of content provided in the last week. Unfortunately, the source material that we planned on using for our upcoming feature examining a second fourteen week period in 1990 has been delayed in transit and isn't scheduled to reach us until the end of the week.

That brings us to our announcement. Three weeks ago, readers of The Pro-Wrestling Chronicle chose The Definitive History of the World Bodybuilding Federation as the historical feature that they would like to see us examine. Your choice was good enough to lead us towards what we believe turned out to be our best work to date.

Several days ago, research began on what will be the second historical feature chosen by the readers of The Pro-Wrestling Chronicle. We are pleased to announce that the winner of voting was Vince McMahon's Day in Court.

When we began working on the historical feature, it wasn't meant to approach The Definitive History of the World Bodybuilding Federation in length, and was only meant to cover the actual testimony of the trial that could have put the president of Titan Sports Inc. behind bars for over ten years. It hasn't quite worked out that way however. What we have uncovered through preliminary research is a story as complex as it is fascinating, involving doctors, sound stages, huge amounts of money, paranoid payphone calls, plea bargains, the FBI, attempted destruction of evidence and more twists and turns than a Hollywood film.

The story really begins in the late 1970's, and the roots are just too interesting to bypass. To make a long story short, we refuse to make a long story short. Judging by the quantity of information that we have already compiled as credible research, we believe that by the time we have completed this feature, not only will it blow away anything in our short history, but it will be roughly three times the length of our feature on the World Bodybuilding Federation --and even that may be conservative.

Unfortunately, we are striving for quality over quantity at The Pro-Wrestling Chronicle and don't want to rush anything. Even The Definitive History of the WBF left us slightly unsatisfied as we uncovered even more information that we would have liked to have included several days after releasing (look for version 2.0 at some point in the near future), and we want to ensure that the most complete and accurate version of a feature is the first and only that you will ever read.

Because it will probably be at best a week before we are comfortable enough with the completed version of this feature to release it, we have started a mailing list so that rather than coming to The Pro-Wrestling Chronicle, we can come to you with instant email notification whenever a major feature is launched on the pages of The Pro-Wrestling Chronicle. You will not be spammed, your information will not be sold, and we will only notify you when something such as The Definitive History of the World Bodybuilding Federation, Fourteen Weeks in 1990, or our upcoming feature on the trial of Vince McMahon are released. To sign up for the mailing list, simply type your email address into the section labeled Mailing List on the right menu bar of our main page.

On behalf of The Pro-Wrestling Chronicle, we would like to thank you for your patience as we take the time to find credible information and fit the pieces together in the most compelling fashion that we are capable of. We hope that the final results will be worth the wait.

The following is a preview of our upcoming feature.

* * * * *

Hollywood, California. July, 1988

The use of the studio that the two men occupied made up only a small part of the twenty million dollar budget that the upcoming promotional vehicle and full length feature film No Holds Barred commanded. It was an adventure for both. Vincent Kennedy McMahon Jr. had taken a hands on approach to the project, which fell under the Shane Productions branch of the Titan Sports Inc. umbrella. Though one of Hollywood's brightest --and most expensive --scriptwriters was tapped for the project, McMahon modified the story at will, molding it into an art-imitating-art progression in which a diabolical rival promoter with more than subtle similarities to Ted Turner attempted to raid his opposition of their biggest wrestling star. That star was Terry Bollea, better known to most as Hulk Hogan. Bollea wasn't simply along for the ride however. Fifteen months prior, Bollea's Wrestlemania III main event with the beloved "Andre the Giant" earned him the biggest one night payoff in the history of American wrestling. When the t's were crossed and the i's dotted, Bollea's involvement in No Holds Barred would guarantee him a bigger check than Vince McMahon Jr. had ever written to one of his wrestlers.

The time that the two men spent during the filming of No Holds Barred was the most that they would ever spend together. The stayed at the same hotel when they were off set, and shared a trailer when on the set. As business associates, the two men owed each other everything. Bollea's millions could have never been made without McMahon's cunning as a promoter, and McMahon's empire of hundreds of millions of dollars probably couldn't have reached such levels without Bollea as the face of the World Wrestling Federation. As friends, they grew as close as they ever would on those long days of filming in the summer of 1988.

And on this afternoon, Vincent Kennedy McMahon and Terry Bollea shared more than just road stories. On the set of No Holds Barred, Vince McMahon first approached Terry Bollea about steroids. McMahon listened intently as his biggest star explained the ins and outs of the different substances. Bollea briefed McMahon on the best way to cycle the drugs, and most likely showed his employer how to inject himself. That afternoon, "Hulk Hogan" gave McMahon part of his supply --decadorabilin and a bottle of anabar pills to be precise. Bollea didn't mind sharing his stash. "It is similar to how smokers share cigarettes" Hogan would say six years later while under oath.

* * * * *
Coming Soon to The Pro-Wrestling Chronicle.




HISTORY: VINCE MCMAHON'S TROUBLED 1998 AOL CHAT

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On August 20th of 1998, Vince McMahon, president of the World Wrestling Federation, was seated in the office of Bill Banks waiting for an interactive chat with America Online to begin. At the time, AOL and Prodigy chats were a popular new way for those within the wrestling industry to interact with fans. McMahon didn't know that midway through the chat session, technical difficulties would cause him to lose the ability to recieve questions from the approximately 5,000 AOL users logged in to interact with him. The second half of the chat would consisted of Vince McMahon talking to himself for ten minutes in rather humorous and revealing fashion. The following is a transcript of this chat. Vince McMahon used the name "WWFLive2".

WWFBBANKS: Folks....Mr. McMahon is here! We will begining in a
moment...Send your questions in for Mr. McMahon! Welcome Mr. McMahon!

WWFLive2: HELLO EVERYBODY, GOT A CUP OF COFFEE IN MY HAND GETTING READY TO TRAIN IN AN HOUR, LET'S DO IT!

Question: Who would you like to see represent the WWF as their Champion?

WWFLive2: Bob Backlund, however, Mr. Backlund is too old.

Question: Is Sid coming back?

WWFLive2: I hope not.

Question: Vince, what kind of working relationship, if any, do you
have with Paul Heyman of ECW?

WWFLive2: I hear from Paul approximately once every three
months when he wants something. That's the extent of the relationship although, on occasion, I want something from him too.

Question: What next big talent might be coming to WWF. Is Ric Flair on his way?

WWFLive2: If I told you the next big talent who was to arrive on the scene, I would spoil the surprise, however, it's no secret that I would like for Mr. Flair to be in WWF ranks, only however, when he is legally clear to do so.

Question: Why is RAW taped week after week?

WWFLive2: RAW is live at least twice per month, soon to be more.

Question: Vinnie Mac, what are your concens now that the warrior has joined wcw?

WWFLive2: None! Whose left that wcw can take? Bruno Sammartino?

Question: Mr. McMahon, Are you and Bret Hart in Cahoots against WCW?

WWFLive2: Bret is my secret agent, however, not a very good
one!

Question: Mr. McMahon, over the past two years in which WCW peaked
(probably permanently), how sure were you that your new "direction" of the WWF would reclaim it's rightful throne?

WWFLive2: I always feel that creativity coupled with LadyLuck and a very strong work ethic will eventually overcome. Despite overwhelming odds and predatory practices from Ted Turner.

Question: Vince, You must realize that many young children idolize the wrestlers of the WWF. I was wondering if you were at all concerned what the kids were picking up from the middle fingers and sex references from the wrestlers??

WWFLive2: It's the 90's! The WWF is only reflecting what is contemporary in today's society I dare say there are a great deal more middle fingers and sexual references in everyone's life then are portrayed in the WWF. Nonetheless, it is every parents discretion as to whether populace watch the WWF or any other TV program on the air.

Question: What are your thoughts on Hawk and his appearance of being drunk?

WWFLive2: Perhaps Hawk should visit Betty Ford.

Question: Vince you need to further improve your light weight division.....the belt seems almost meaningless. How will you improve this?

WWFLive2: Yokozuna is on a diet! Perhaps an influx of Ethiopian talent would be appropriate

Question: Vince, what is your true opinion on Mick Foley? Don't you think he deserves at least a title shot after all he's done to himself for the WWF?

WWFLive2: Mick Foley is one of the most extraordinary human beings on the face of the planet. But sometimes people don't get what they deserve. Although in Mick's case, he might.

Question: Mr. McMahon who in your opinion has the most talent in the WWF?
WWFLive2: Vince McMahon

Question: Where is the patriot?
WWFLive2: The Patriot is where all old patriots go, probably in a VFW home somewhere in South Carolina.

Question: Are you interested in Chris Jericho?
WWFLive2: I'm interested in any young aggressive performer who has the desire to excel.

Question: Mr. McMahon who is your favorite wrestler (active) AND WHY
WWFLive2: George the Animal Steele still wrestles for the independents. Why, because he is older than I am, I admire that.

Question: Vince, are you a fan of South Park? Will we see Golga on there?
WWFLive2: I love South Park! Chef and Cartman are my two favorite characters.

Question: Do you plan on signing randy savage when his contract expires?
WWFLive2: In the year 2032, that might be a little late.

Question: Do you respect Eric Bishoff at all? If so why? If not why?
WWFLive2: As far as a TV performer is concerned, I think he's pretty good, but, I don't know the man personally, I really can't comment.

Question: WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON TONY SCHIAVONES COMMENTATING TWO WEEKS AGO WHERE HE INSULTED YOUR MAIN EVENT CONSTANTLY THROUGHOUT NITRO?
WWFLive2: Tony only does what he's told to do.

Question: Will we ever see Bret in the WWF again and have you spoke to him since?
WWFLive2: He might return one day to the WWF, but not at the rate that his skill is deteriorating in WCW.

Question: Vince, why didn't you show at the WCW PPV to fight Eric Bischoff?
WWFLive2: I sent Mr. Bishoff a letter indicating that any parking lot in any city in America would be a suitable location for me to meet him. Rather than me show up at a Turner PPV and increase their buy rates I chose to offer Mr. Bishoff a with no TV coverage, just Bishoff vs. Vince. I got no response.

(The AOL service malfunctions, leaving Vince McMahon alone. Vince McMahon would spend the next twenty minutes waiting for service to resume. It never did.)

WWFLive2: We're temporarily frozen, stand by.

WWFLive2: We're coming back up, stay with me.

WWFLive2: I guess we have too damn many people wanting to talk to Mr. McMahon.

WWFLive2: What the hell is going on anyhow??

WWFLive2: This is supposed to be interactive but right now it's a one way street.

WWFLive2: You might even call it the HIGHWAY TO HELL!. In which case, in a role that is unfit for me, likely I would be deemed the devil.

WWFLive2: Hang on everybody, we're still frozen, god it's cold in here. Can we say shrinkage?

WWFLive2: While we're down, I predict that all of my
predictions are likely to be verified this Monday on RAW. Can you
believe that the Undertaker drove off with his brother Kane in a
hearse last Monday. I understand they were last seen on Route
95 heading North.

WWFLive2: Can somebody at AOL please wake the hell up? Is all of America trying to talk to Mr. McMahon?

WWFLive2: We're back, finally!

WWFLive2: No we're not back.

WWFLive2: Why the hell is AOL frozen?

WWFLive2: Damn it, I want to talk to you people.

WWFLive2: More importantly, I want to listen to you.

WWFLive2: But to answer most of your question, I'm feeling fine!

WWFLive2: It's nice that everyone is so concerned with my
health and mental well being. I didn't know so many people cared.

WWFLive2: You see while this damn thing is frozen, I can
fantasize all I want. Which brings me to Sable. Wow!! Wait til you
guys see, if you haven't already, some of the new shots of Sable. Truly a classy lady. and a classy chassy to boot. Did I say boot, that's kind of nice too.

WWFLive2: Well I certainly appreciate all of the questions
coming over a frozen AOL. Come on Bob Pittman, get your shit together! The one opportunity I have to speak to everybody online and damn el nino strikes again! Or is it nanook of the
north? You guys remember the pro wrestler Nanook don't you? He worked for Jerry Jarrett in the 60's under an assumed name. Speaking of Jerry Jarrett, wonder how well he's doing selling property. He was thought of as the most beloved promoter in the history of the wrestling business, although Kansas City's Bob Gigel ran a close second. What the hell's going on? I'm still frozen! We're crashed.

WWFLive2: She's breaking up, she's breaking up.

WWFLive2: Much like DX might be doing...oops! maybe I shouldn't
have said that.

WWFLive2: I'm having a blast talking to myself. I can't hear you.

WWFLive2: I'm making alot of sense to myself, as I generally do when I am asking and answering my own questions, I'm sure yours would be more provocative:

WWFLive2: Alright AOL. What the hell is going on? You should
have known that people want to talk to Mr. McMahon.

WWFLive2: I know I do.

WWFLive2: This is really getting nonsensical, if we don't
straighten it out soon, I'm going downstairs to the no excuse gym,
open 7 days per week, 24 hours a day. My goal is to add another
quarter inch to these massive twenty inch guns.

WWFLive2: Speaking of massive, wait til you get a load of a new
WWF toy. It's called a BOSS HOSS. It's a 351 cubic inch chevrolet
engine. Fitted between my legs, 0 to 60 in 1 1/2 seconds. It's the ultimate crotch rocket!

WWFLive2: We're talking to AOL now, Susan, who claims that we may have had a problem if more than 5,000 people were trying to get in, no shit, can you imagine that. Like I said before, they just weren't prepared.

WWFLive2: Susan, I sure wish this problem with AOL were fixed. What a waste.

WWFLive2: I'm told some of you now can see this monologue.

WWFLive2: It's not a very good monologue.

WWFLive2: Mr. M: But, it's the best I can do at the moment. What I
would really like is for AOL to apologize to all of you who have
attempted to reach the WWF and yours truly tonight. I would like to
see this apology on the air and in every newspaper and we here will
apologize to our fans through WWF.COM as well as on the air.

WWFLive2: I'm sitting in Bill Banks office with a cup of coffee
in my hand that's cold, looking up at DX making some sort of gesture toward their crotch, what the hell is the matter with Bill Banks?

WWFLive2: Oops, Bill just told me to suck it!

WWFLive2: What does he mean by that?

WWFLive2: Perhaps Monica can help us out!

WWFLive2: And how about that Chris Rock anyhow.

WWFLive2: Just like he said, Bill Clinton gave Monica a job, oh
what the hell you can finish the rest. Speaking of jobs, what would I like to do to AOL at this moment, and who was that cold hearted women, Susan, that I just spoke to from AOL, who asked the questions, Did we promote, that Mr. McMahon was going to be on line tonight?

WWFLive2: That's it, I'm looking to get Bob Pitman in the ring.
How about it Bob, a Brawl for All, Pittman vs. McMahon. Knowing you, you'd probably cheat to win.

WWFLive2: It wouldn't work, just like this damn AOL isn't
working tonight.

WWFLive2: I have now begun to mumble to myself.

WWFLive2: I am boring myself out of my mind.

WWFLive2: Speaking of minds, what about that retarded Mankind?
How gullible is that guy anyhow, you want to talk messed up? I liked him better as Dude. At least Dude would shower regularly. Have you guys every smelled that stinky leather mask that Mankind wears. If you're anywhere in the first 10 rows, you have. It wasn't your neighbor flatulating next to you, it was Mankind's mask, Or, was it the aftermath of a Vader match? Or, was it the aftermath of a Vader match?

WWFLive2: If the canvas on the ring had not been changed in the
last month. and, Vader has been in the building, there will be an
odor. It's Vader Time. That sends shock waves through the WWF
lockerroom.

WWFLive2: Well it's almost time for me to go train, I must say
I thoroughly enjoyed the first five minutes of our chat. which was
interactive, just like the WWF will be interactive tomorrow with the hierarchy of AOL.

WWFLive2: If I were you I would demand a Christmas gift, a
birthday card, and an autographed picture of Bob Pittman. or Susan
whatsherface? who could not solve our problem tonight.

WWFLive2: I've got two words for AOL - SUCK IT!

WWFLive2: Wait a minute, that's Bill Banks line to me earlier,
I think he stole it from somebody else.

WWFLive2: I apologize for breathing in and breathing out and
wasting your precious time, but, perhaps, we can do it again some
other time, when AOL has their shit together.

WWFLive2: Mr. M: In the immortal words of Vince McMahon I hope it was better for you then it was for me. Goodnight.


SITE NEWS: A MESSAGE FROM THE EDITOR

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On behalf of The Pro-Wrestling Chronicle. we would like to wish you a very happy New Year. We would like to thank you for making our latest historical feature The Definitive History of the World Bodybuilding Federation the most successful feature in our short history. To anyone who posted a link to the feature, shared it with a friend or simply took the time to read it, your support is greatly appreciated. We feel as though we have found our niche with this type of coverage, and are confident that our best work is yet to come as we move in to 2006.

Our next historical feature will be the second phase of the Fourteen Weeks in 1990 series: Fourteen More Weeks in 1990: A Summer to Remember. Like the first phase, this feature will appear in four parts over the span of one week. We are hopeful that Part One should be completed in the next 48 hours, with the next three parts following shortly.

In the meantime, we have added a new poll. Several weeks ago, The Pro-Wrestling Chronicle asked you to select what our next historical feature would be. The History of the World Bodybuilding Federation was voted as the next to appear on The Pro-Wrestling Chronicle, and the result was what we feel was our strongest coverage to date. Once again, we would like you to help determine what our next historical retrospective will be. Three new choices have been added to the poll, along with the two highest voted runners up from our last poll. When the final part of Fourteen More Weeks in 1990: A Summer to Remember has been completed, we will begin research on the next historical feaure --the winner of the poll.

On behalf of The Pro-Wrestling Chronicle, Happy Holidays and see you soon for Fourteen More Weeks in 1990.